Killin' Time
by Sh1 n0 m1k0
Summary: Why, if it wasn't for me, he might not have been able to hit the Dark King so many times and he'd be nothing but a smear on the carpet!  Yep, that's me, a mighty important element in the defeat of evil.


_Note: This was previously listed as A Simple Question as Chapter 2. After some consideration and tweaking, I realized that it would stand better on it's own two feet, rather than me continually adding things on to A Simple Question. So here we are now. Enjoy._

**Killin' Time**

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There. He's back.

Oh come on. You know who I'm talking about. Him. In the corner. Wearin' the green.

He's the one with the bloody fairy, alright!

Well, he used to have a fairy, anyways...

Yeah, Yeah, sure. Now you know who he is. Took you long enough.

Man, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that was one weird kid.

It all started years ago when we were all still at Hyrule Castle Market. One day, this kid – the one I pointed out earlier – just comes barrelin' into town, stickin' his nose into everyone's business. I think Lilah had to shoo him out from behind the counter at her fruit stand at least five times. Anyway, he finally finds his way into my shootin' range.

Ya see, back in the day, I used slingshots to keep things safe, ya know? Kept it kid friendly. It's harder to put an eye out with a Deku seed than an arrow...

Granted, we know better now.

So, this kid finds his way into the shootin' range and, obviously, decides to play a round. He even had his own slingshot. It was kind of cute, really. He had to dig way down into his pockets to find that one last rupee. I swear, he lit up like a fairy when I handed him the seed bag and he got in position.

Little bugger nailed every mark on the first try. I could hardly believe it.

What'd I do? I gave him the prize, stupid! What else could I have done! I mean, this kid just prances in and gets a perfect score? I was almost afraid to know what would happen if I didn't give it to him! And then he left, grinnin' like the cat who ate the keese.

Couple'a days later he comes back with more rupees. Goddesses know where he got 'em. Didn't leave until I had to kick him out. Nearly cleaned me out of prizes. I was losin' money whenever he came to town.

Then it happened. That nasty Gerudo came to the castle, and next thing ya know, ya got a war on yer hands. That's why I switched to arrows when I moved here to Kakariko. Gave the peasants a chance to hone their skills for combat. Fee was fair, too. Granted, I didn' have many customers during the dark times, what with the rebuildin' an' all, but business was enough to keep me afloat.

One day, this guy comes in, dressed head to toe in green. Plunks a few rupees on the counter and pulls out the most beautiful bow I'd ever seen. Not like the cheap, disposable ones I supplied to customers, no sirree. This was one piece of work. He musta got it from the forest people, those Kokiri.

How'd I know that? Easy. I knows me bows. Heh. Ain't I clever?

Alright, alright, I'll tell ya how I figured it out.

It was masterfully carved, I'll tell ya that. String had a twang like a Sheikah's harp. Rich brown wood. Supple. Sure was somethin' else. The only other time I'd seen a bow like it was when me uncle was tradin' with the forest folk. Gave him one for a basket of fish. Never forgot it.

Anywho and needless to say, the bugger nailed the course. That's when I started thinkin'. I started thinkin' _'what if this was that same kid from back in the market?'_ Crazy, I know, but these were tryin' times. Makes a man think some crazy things. Well, he took his prize without a word and disappeared for a few weeks.

Came back though. Seemed like he came back whenever he needed the money. Nearly put me into bankruptcy. Finally got to the point where it seemed he didn't even need the money anymore, he was just killin' time and puttin' me in the poorhouse.

The strange thing was, there was something funny about the rupees. I kept thinking that I had seen them before. But all good Hylian businessmen know, a rupee is a rupee. But really, I swear I saw this one that had a chip in it at least a dozen times. But then, I was basically recycling 'em with that guy anyway. He'd give 'em to me, and I'd give 'em right back as prizes.

After a while, he stopped showin' up. Word around the village was that there was a great battle over back by Ganondorf's castle and some young upstart had rescued Princess Zelda while lockin' the Evil King away in the Sacred Realm. Was quite a tall tale if I say so meself, but nowadays, everyone's seen what's left of the castle. Especially after the knighting.

Turns out that the guy who kept coming to my range was the Hero of Time, himself! All that time!

Got some braggin' rights for that. Hero of Time, honin' his archery skills at my shootin' range. Why, if it wasn't for me, he might not have been able to hit the Dark King so many times and he'd be nothing but a smear on the carpet! Yep, that's me, a mighty important element in the defeat of evil.

Don't laugh at me! It's the honest truth and you know it!

Anyway, things have calmed down now, what with the Princess back an' all, but he still drops by now and again. Doesn't accept the rupees he wins, just comes in to shoot.

Is it awkward? Nah. Ya just gotta remember to leave him alone. He's a quiet one, he is. Hafta respect that.

Now, did you want to play a round or not?

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Disclaimer: No ownies.

5h1 n0 m1k0


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